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Cancer. Stage Four. Three months to live. Each word was like a punch in the gut, a knife twisting in my heart. To hear this about someone I have come to know and love is surreal. The last couple of months were hard watching my friend just go downhill. But she's 29 - my age - easy fix. Until it's not.

I'm writing this devotional two days (03/26/2020) after hearing the diagnosis. So much anger and confusion, with no place to properly grieve. Until I remember the only Constant - God and His Word. I open my devotionals to find the story of Lazarus as today's reading. I just begin to weep and ask God to please not make me go down this road. Please let me stay in denial a little longer. But God knows best.

I remind God of His promise to be near to the broken hearted and begin to read. I read of Jesus' love for the family, and yet he doesn't rush to their side. I read of the confrontation between Martha and Jesus. Then I get to verses 25 and 26: "Jesus said to her. I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?"

The tears have blurred my eyes, and I can't look up. I'm crushed. But then Jesus does what only Jesus can do. He meets me right where I'm at. I sense Jesus lifting my chin to look at His face, full of love and compassion. He asks the same question: "Do I believe this?" Suddenly, a step of faith is required.

I take a deep breath and say the only thing that comes to mind: "Yes Lord. But I need You to be my Rock." Jesus smiles, nods and comforts me with the comfort only He can give, as I fall on His Word.

No matter the outcome - Jesus, You are the Resurrection and the Life. My friend will live even if she dies, because she believes in You. I believe this.

Do you?

Heather, Lane Murray Prison

In Memory of Judith Delanie Hammock

07/20/1990-05/25/2020